Life is Full of choices, but there is only that much you can handle.

Friday, September 12, 2008

seeing me coming back to the blog means, i am bored. sth must be driving my little brain crazy and there is no place or no one for me to tak to. yup. i din update since like april. coz i was 1) lazy, 2) it was exam period in glasgow and i was busy planning my may and june post exam activites - trips and more trips. 3) the weather was just so damn gd there during that time. i miss it!

I really miss glasgow alot. being an exchange is fun, and only those who are exchange like u will understand wht you havce been through.

I like to be different, that's why i chose to study in Adelaide which was used to have lesser people from hongkong (now alot - so please dun come to study if u want a hker free environment. PS> no discrimination coz i am a hker myself).

I chose not to merge house with best buddy then, coz i want to know more people - but ended up in quite deep shit. I chose to go exchange - coz i want to make the most ouf of my parent's money. To go somewhere that my dad has been asking me if i want to me since primary 5. (Dad: " do you wan to go uk to study. if u study hard u can get into cambridge.." some sort like that) but well, i din make it there to cambridge. Way up north in the land of Scotland. I chose glasgow over Newcastle in England. Based not only on academic, but also because Newcastle has the no.1 night life in europe i dun wan to go there. Two, because jeremy told me that scotland suits me more and i will love it. PS> Jeremy is one of my best buddy who guide me so much when i was lost and still continue to give support despite sometime he will get pissed off with me. But we are all just human. I appreciate ur support =)

But yea, what ever you choose is not necessary the right thing to do. I was happy to go exchange, but no one would ever understand if u have to stuck in a foreign country for Christmas and there are no one else around u. Friends? Sing me, myself and i! When u are stress while everyone else thinks that u are going crazy. Its only for Paradie and Sura who are my bestie housemates understood most. I really miss you guys tho i should write that in facebook instead. haha.

Life come and goes, i was flown from hk to sg, sg to aus, aus to uk and uk now back to aus. Yea it does look impressive, it seems that it could be an enjoyment. It is definitely a privilege, thanks to my parents who are open-minded and supportive in my education. Through life like this, i have learnt, i have reflected. But yet, life is not in my control. We have no control over what will and what will not even tho we always think that there is a way of prevention. Effort spent does not always equates to what you get. you always have to put in more to get just that bit of something that you wanted.

Thanks to Allen and Ulrike, i learnt great ways of life to relax and to see the world differently. I love Germany. Thanks to Ramiro who shared his career experience with me and being the most helpful at all time. Loving all the dinner together when are houses are at walkable distance. Wine, cheese, pasta, sushi love it all! Thanks to Paradie who brought us closer and bring us joy in our close. I felt like home for the first time. U did warm me up =) There is so many people who made changes in our lives. I din learn to appreciate friends as much before i went for exchange. In my life there WAS only competitors and non-competitors. they could be ur friends buy they still compete with u one way or the other. That kind of stressful mentality did give me gd grades, but made me lost what i treasured most. Like the Chinese saying "人比人；比死人。" i guess it could really happen if u reach that level of stress and insomnia. Thank God u din take me away.

Its only when you are far away from sth that you loved, something that was always there for u, then u realise how impt it is in your life. Friends, i might not be a person v gd in expressing myself. I am deeply sorry for what i have done to some of u, but you guys din give up in me, or rather - that's wad i think. look on the bright side of life. think the better of the people. they are being your friends and will not forget you or wad so ever. well. loads of bullshit. but i will take that. As you grow older, the more you see, the more u realise, how artificial the world is! everyone geared up since young, trained to mask yourself. Til then, u realise that truths never exist, or rather, they are often six-feet under.

sorry to have tortured those who have read this, i know the whole thing does not flow. coz my trends of thoughts were very messed up. I need a place to straighten things out. to get back my way of life. yea. i was bored.

11:51 PM