Life is Full of choices, but there is only that much you can handle.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Digging out the past do no gd to anyone... but i dunno why i am jsut such a kpo person trying to sabotage my coming exam. This is shit... =.= screwed myself a thousand times but i guess mental and emotional distributance are the killers. dun get me wrong. i am not gg insane.. just that i have uncovered things that was meant to be 6 feet under

This is irritating like a fly.

Honestly come to think about it, its no biggie, its no biggie... can't i just dun be such a narrow person and be abit more forgiving or rather, understanding? its really nth wrong seriously. may be its my personality... lao mao bin again, having high expectation, being a perfectionist, thus? not allowing mistakes and 'wrong' doing of others. i dunno if any of you, my friends feel this way: if i measured u with my own standard. but i guess everyone would have done so. just that i am competitive in nature, and thinking everything is a competition in this world.

Recently someone asked me wad's my horoscope. well. it ain't obvious to some, but i jolly well know myself inside out. thinking about it. I think i know why i an so interested in digging that, yet can't take it when the results are sour. jealousy is always the cause. reading life stories are like keeping me in touch with humanity. Its ugly. Its sadist. Foul plays is the way and survival of the fittest is the rule. But somehow when i read these stories, i do feel, i sympathies with the person. And i do jealous of wad i not have. For many, people would envy my life too. Its sensible and logical, because none of us are perfect. honestly, its more addictive than drama, the more i read, the more i actually wan to know the person. Or rather, it IS a drama of its own kind. Her drama, his drama, my drama... we are all under the spotlight in the the central stage of life. I am an actor. I act according to social rules, being politcally correct and modest. Am i cunning or being smart. But i do not wear a facade in front of my friends and family... that's why there are frictions and quarrals... its humane.

How true it is!

So i am being humane and just in my own way. but would this actually make me feel better?

This is worth a ponder.

6:34 AM